I Grew Up

Broken dreams and faded memories

Difficult times, twisted realities

I wonder where the hope disappeared

I'm scared of things I had never feared

Raised voices, silent stares

Sleepless nights, chilling nightmares

Look, the flowers have withered away

Look, the skies have turned dull-gray

I can still see the setting sun

But my feelings have finished their run

I wonder what made me give up

But I guess I just grew up.

In Fond Memory of Simpu

Everyone has heard of stuff like "Change is good" and "Moving on" and "Letting go". We all have to deal with changes, with stuff that moves out of our lives, with stuff that moves in. We have to let go at times, and make space for things that are new and not entirely comfortable. I write this, just after we have had our faithful printer-scanner-fax device of eight months replaced by an all new printer-scanner-fax-email device.

Funny it may seem, but we at office were all pretty attached to the demure HP Laserjet 3055. My colleague had christened it "Simpu Singh Sisodia", "simpu" for short. Simpu had a simple philosophy, it responded to love and care. If you wanted prints, you looked at it with love, gave it a little pat and told it to print. Same with scanning and copying. Poor thing used to have trouble with faxes, it never knew which other device to connect to. I think it had some inferiority complex, being a black-and white printer.

Of course we had times when we got angry and frustrated with it, when it acted like a brat and wouldn't scan or print. As we developed a closer relationship, we could see it had some personality flaws. Simpu had this thing of being misunderstood, and got depressed if we talked about getting a color printer. It had to undergo a by-pass surgery once, and we had all stood with bated heartbeats for it to recover. One day without Simpu, and we felt the world had come to an end.

And now sits in Simpu's place a brand-new Samsung MultiExpress 6122N. We are not really sure we would ever get over this change. Simpu, a modest, hard-working printer, is no more among us. He was getting too hard to adjust with, and we couldn't let its personality issues hamper our work. The Samsung sits here, tall and broad with a proud grin, and already we have trouble accepting it. It makes a lot of noise when it's working, and is such an unbearable show-off.

Well, I'm sure one day we will get used to it, and one day the memories of Simpu will fade away. But we will always be grateful for the device that pulled us through our beginnings, and taught us so much about cartridges and drums and printer chips.

Thank you Simpu, RIP.

Of Mud-guards, Meetings and Maledictions

The rains are back. And so are soggy biscuits, damp towels and muddy roads.

Indore (or rather most of India) suffers from an incurable malady of roads that turn into slushy-muddy pathways at the first drops of rains. Anyone driving too fast and applying sudden brakes has a 99 percent probability of slipping (especially when driving a two-wheeler). Yes, I know the owners of CBZ xtremes and Royal Enfields and such other bikes would shake their heads indignantly at my assertion, and would go on to prove how their super-bikes have balance controls and other technical gibberish that I fail to understand, which keeps their bikes from slipping even on the Indian-Rain-fed roads.

But that is not my point. My point, which these bikers refuse to acknowledge, is that looking at the condition of roads (which are streams of brown water at some places, and mounds of melted chocolate at others), the one thing that can be as important as a parachute for a skydiver, is... (drumroll)... mud-guards.

A mud-guard is essentially a small piece of rubber (or whatever material is used in bikes) that covers the rear wheel of any bike. It is a shield over or behind a vehicle's wheel to prevent mud or water from splashing onto that vehicle or a following vehicle. So basically, a mudguard is an epitome of selflessness. By using one, you not only protect others from getting splashed with mud and slush, but also prevent that from happening to yourself.

Imagine you are driving your two-wheeler, dressed for a meeting, through wet roads, precariously maintaining balance through potholes and mud, when another two-wheeler zips past, without a mud-guard, decorating your dress with a fine spray of brown slush (ok, assuming you are not wearing a raincoat). You got late for your meeting. Boss was waiting for your report, which of course, he did not get on time. Boss's boss was waiting for boss's report, which could not be finished due to absence of your report. Boss's boss gets angry, threatens to fire boss (it was month-end report, it had to do something with tax-saving and now the company loses a fine amount in taxes due to late submission). Boss pours the blame on your shoulders, (which are still covered in mud) and of course you cannot blame it on the guy without the mudguards.

So I agree it is purely hypothetical, and I also agree that people should wear raincoats to protect their laundered garments, but still, I want to emphasize on the importance of that little thing which can save jobs, and even lives (a little overboard, I know). So my message to the world: USE MUD-GUARDS, prevent maledictions, live happily (everafter). :P

A Typical Holiday

Wake up. Try opening eyes, fail because of the goop. Rub eyes vigorously. Open eyes halfway. Fumble around the pillow for cellphone. Fail to find it. Wonder what time it is. Guess it to be around 11:00 AM. Roll over and close eyes. Daydream of going to the beach. Jerk eyes open after remembering the promise to meet friends around 12:00 pm. Fumble for the cellphone again. Finally locate it inside the pillow cover. Wonder how it got there. Check the time. Find out its 10:30 AM. Breathe a sigh of relief. Debate whether to nod off for another 15 minutes. Keep debating till mind wanders over to wonder about last night's conversation with a friend. Suddenly reach for the phone again, realize its 11 already. Sit up with a jerk. Try not to fall back, sway precariously over the pillow. Finally use the maximum available will power to throw the covers and look for slippers. Stand up and head to the wash basin.

Brush teeth, constantly making faces at the mirror. Choke on the brush. Quickly finish brushing. Feel stomach growl. Go to the kitchen to get something to eat. Find a cup of tea in the microwave. Heat it up and get biscuits. Wander over to the living room, tea and biscuits in hand, looking for the papers. Find papers and plop down of the sofa, spilling a little tea on the t-shirt. Curse, keep the cup on the table and go to the bathroom to wash the stain. Rub helplessly, get half wet. Decide to bathe first. Take a bath. Try to decide something to wear. Find nothing worth wearing. Hesitatingly decide on some dress and realize that it isn't ironed. Grumble and get the iron, and iron the dress. Get dressed, realize it is already 12:00. Call friends, only to find out the plan has been cancelled. Grumble more, see tea lying on the table. Heat it up again n settle down to drink it with the papers. Check out the cartoons, read the gossip and toss the papers aside.

Finish tea, try to find something to do. Remember suddenly to drink water. Gulp down two glasses of water. Hop around to feel the water move in stomach. wander around the house aimlessly. Look around for cellphone. Play meaningless games for a while. Get bored and wander around the house some more. Put on some music, sing along in different pitches. Try conversing with self in different accents. Go into the kitchen to eat something. Find rotis and veggies on the counter. Gorge heavily. Suddenly feel a burst of action. Rearrange wardrobe, take out some course books and decide to study. Feel unable to decide which subject to study. Give up and keep the books back.

Sit on bed and stare blankly at walls. Think of the last novel read. Decide that the ending was not good enough. Think of writing suggestions to the author. Feel energetic again, decide to do something worthwhile. Trot around house looking for something worthwhile. Spot the laptop. Quickly turn it on. Stare at walls while it starts. Check mails, try to write a blog, get brain-dead. Log out. Put on some music again. Change songs again and again. Sing along, do a little jig. Get bored and turn the laptop off.

Check time. Get disappointed to see it's just 5:00 pm. Try again to do something "nice". Take out cellphone, read all messages over and over. Play meaningless games again. Answer the door thinking someone knocked. Find no one outside. Grumble. Go in front of the mirror and make faces. Examine an acne, some blackheads and decide to do a clean-up. Go and plop on the bed instead. Imagine teachers from college playing three-legged-race. Laugh hysterically. Marvel at own stupidity. Turn philosophical, and conclude that life has no meaning. so decide to read a book. Get a bowl full of local "mixture" to go with a book. Try to decide which book to read. Ultimately settle down with a Tintin, already read 10 times.

Finish book, check time. 8:00 pm. Decide again to eat. Stuff some peanuts into mouth and start loading plate with food. Gorge again. Finish (after getting two refills), and decide to switch the laptop on. Check mails again (even though there is nothing to check), go on a few social sites, check out friends' pictures. Think up weird comments, type them in, delete them again. Repeat for 10 different friends. Get bored, play solitaire. Get more bored, shut down laptop.

Check time, realize its 11:00. Smile in satisfaction at a day well spent and go to bed. Try to sleep. Imagine going to the beach again, curse friends for cancelling the day's program. Almost fall asleep. Wake up to set alarm. Try sleeping again. Ultimately sleep around 12:00 am.

The good holiday.

To be or not to be.... honest??

Honesty is the best policy. We have been using this sentence ever since we could use language. Kids practise their cursive writing with this sentence. We are introduced to it when we don't even know what "honesty" means, or "policy".

Then where did we go wrong? Since everyone has been taught this through ages, why do we still encounter dishonesty at every turn? Why do we still have to make a choice between honesty and dishonesty?

It is like choosing between food that tastes bad but keeps you healthy and food that tastes good but makes you shit bad. Both enter and leave your stomach, the former gracefully and the latter indecently. But it seems like its the way of the world to always favor the evil. Take for instance, the popularity scale. The one who has been into more scandals is higher on the charts, and one who has always been the hard working honest idiot is not even listed. Even in the newpapers, people will breeze through the important stuff and gawk at the stuff that makes their stomachs feel like the bad food they ate is turning into something worse. However, this does not mean that people don't know what is good for them. Oh sure, they know. Just like one knows that smoking gives black lungs, but they still go ahead and make smoke patterns.

So the thing is, we know honesty is good for us, but we still go with being as little honest as circumstances would permit. But still, is it justified? And just what is honesty? Is it directed toward oneself or towards the rest of the world?

Some salient features of honesty are well-known; honesty towards oneself breeds honesty towards others. Being honest means being true to oneself, which in turn means, of course, to use truth. Honesty is good, because of many reasons, which need not be listed as everyone knows them already. And yet, it is not practiced regularly, mainly because dishonesty pays more. Its easier and more productive to be dishonest, as is seen everywhere. But there is one thing that dishonesty cant give- peace of mind and happiness; just as bad food cant give a peaceful stomach even if it tastes extremely good.

To be or not to be honest is an individual choice, usually governed by one's principles. As long as a person adheres to them, he will have a happy and contended life, and will achieve higher levels of success. A person not caring to stick by his principles may get "successful", but it wont be a lasting thing.

Being honest will always pay off, even if it is just a clear conscience.

I stop here, for now my stomach is calling for something that will clear IT up, probably orange juice would help it deal with the chicken biryani..... ciao!!

Indifference

When nothing works
Everything is wrong
You are hurt
No more strong
Hate is not enough
Love is redundant
You have to be tough
Have to be indifferent
One weapon to save you
You have one defence
All you need to do
Is use indifference
No need for feeling
No space for emotion
The wound is healing
With seperation
Time is not
The only healer
Indifference's got
The same power.